but this is getting good now ✧
(Four weeks until THE FAKE MATE!)
Hello. Salutations. Long time no talk. (Unless you follow me on Instagram, I guess, because I literally never shut up over there.)
I realize it’s been a thousand years or so since I put out a newsletter (you knew I was trouble when I walked in, I don’t know what to tell you (two taylor swift references in one newsletter, I deserve a gold star)), but since I will literally have A SECOND BOOK OUT IN THE WORLD IN FOUR WEEKS—I figured it was time to get on the ball.
FOUR. WEEKS.
I am trying not to think about it too much, because I might retreat into the ground for seven years like the cicadas that didn’t get to mate. (Honestly not sure if any of that sentence was accurate, but I can’t be bothered to google the mating/hibernation patterns of cicadas right now.)
Book News
Since The Nanny only has four weeks left as an only child, let’s catch up before the secondborn is out in the world biting at my ankles.
It has been an incredible debut for one silly, horny author (me, it’s me). Sometimes (read: all the time) it feels not so real, all the love this spicy little brainchild has gotten in the last six months (give or take, also, how in the hell am I about to have another book? didn’t The Nanny JUST come out?), but to say that I am grateful would be a GROSS understatement. The things I feel for all of you would require one of those comically long cartoon scrolls that just roll across the floor in a neverending loop.
SOME HIGHLIGHTS FOR THE NANNY BEFORE IT INEVITABLY SUCCUMBS TO ELDER CHILD SYNDROME:
The Nanny is in it’s eighth reprint, and we have sold over 100,000 copies!
We hit the USA Today Bestseller List three times!
It was a bestseller at Barnes & Noble numerous times!
We got three starred trade reviews!
And most importantly (to me), it got just…beacoups of love from all of you, the likes of which being enough to make this author cry multiple times over the last half year.
BUT ON TO MY OTHER CHILDREN.
As we know because of my insistent and increasingly horny posts on social media, The Fake Mate is c o m i n g (heh). We are FOUR WEEKS AWAY. There have already been things that get the ole heart aflutter even pre-release, some of which I cannot share yet (and trust me, it’s absolutely killing me 🧚🏼), but hopefully the wait won’t be much longer and I can stop staring wistfully at my “create post” button while contemplating being a very bad girl.
Some things of note:
The Fake Mate is an Indie Next pick for December! Booksellers are so important to the author process, and knowing that a collective of them thought to put a stamp on this horny wolf book (looking at you in particular, Liv), makes me emotional. (But honestly, what about this process doesn’t?)
Also, right now, there are two active giveaways going on right now that include The Fake Mate! Berkley is hosting a “Must-Read Books of December” Sweepstakes, which includes some amazing titles! You can enter to win all ten here between today and November 10th. Over on Goodreads, there is an active giveaway for five print copies of The Fake Mate, going on from today until November 20th! You can enter that one here.
Lana News
I don’t have much to report on my personal life unless you would like to sit here and read my five point dissertation on Astarion of Baldur’s Gate and why it’s more than a video game and the character development is masterful and how I wake up thinking about Baldur’s Gate, think about Baldur’s Gate at work, play Baldur’s Gate as soon as I get off work…Yeah.
(90% of you: wtf is Baldur’s Gate? To which I say: don’t ask.)
This next bit is just going to be book news in a Lana mask, but again, there is just nothing going on in my life. (A shame really, since I am supposed to be drafting right now. RIP my Nanowrimo.)
ICYMI: We did a cover reveal for book three, and she’s a beaut.
This is going to be my horny offering to the hockey girlies, and boy, is it horny. Expect brother’s best friend, playing up situationships for PR, a ginger Thor in an apron, and some inapproriate jokes about hockey sticks and groins. (Yes, groins, they’re very important for hockey players, did you know? And not in that way, apparently.)
You can preorder/check out the blurb for The Game Changer here.
I also announced two more books for my next contract—one loch ness monster monster romance and then another enemies with benefits might-be-the-dirtiest-book-I-ever-wrote romp about two opposing counsels. (Coming in 2024 and 2025, respectfully.)
All this to say, apparently, I am going to stick around and keep being horny, and it’s all thanks to you. ❤️
Anyway, this was definitely the longest newsletter I’ve ever written, but it’s been awhile since I spoke to any of you outside of bombarding you with semi-salacious Astarion art on Instagram.
BUT GUYS HE IS SO HOT AND FOR WHAT AND ALSO HE’S THE “I CAN FIX HIM CHARACTER” THAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY FIX IF YOU MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES OH AND DID I TELL YOU HE’S TORTURED WITH A DARK PAST HAHAHAHA LOOK I MADE YOU OPEN THIS NEWSLETTER AND FORCED YOU TO SIMP WITH ME HERE TOO YOU FOOLS I HAVE PULLED THE WOOL OVER ALL OF YOUR EYES THIRST WITH ME DO IT
(also it’s worth mentioning that you can sex the characters in this game which is why I bought it in the first place is anyone even remotely surprised)
k bye luv u
I played a video game where I had to throw cheese at people. It was a Brie-lliant game.